Wonderful things are in store for you this year, Virgo! You're experiencing tremendous feelings of rebirth and, as you release old ways of expressing yourself, you'll find yourself walking into all kinds of new experiences. Virgo loves to make sure everything is clear, concise and methodical, and this will help make it easy for you to graciously receive and beautifully adapt to the growth you are experiencing. You'll feel very peaceful with the changes happening both inside and outside of you, and you welcome the opportunity to express the new knowledge you gain.
There's a renaissance going on within you that seems to have been asleep for sometime now. You discover where the doorway is and are ready to consciously find new meaning in your life, and to manifest who you are in your own way. Mentally, culturally, instinctually and spiritually, you'll be going through incredible transformation this year. Your fresh take on life will give you the ability to manifest a new reality. You take a big leap forward as you share these changes with others.
A re-emergence of your inventive and creative self will give you new ways of taking action and bringing your talents into the world. You will feel secure, safe and centered, which allows you to achieve anything you want in your life. You will feel more spiritually balanced in 2009 than ever before.
WOW!!! Did you just read that? I know horoscopes are a bunch of bologna – but still. Being very ‘peaceful’ with the changes that are happening – that’s not me. At least not until recently. I’m truly at peace now with the direction my life is going. God will provide. I have no doubts!
For those of you that KNOW me, you know how miserable I have been for the last year. Constantly disrespected, looked down upon, judged, etc….led to a very dark time in my life. The HIVES that I experienced towards the end were just the outward physical signs of the stress my body was under. I can’t begin to explain the effects that were going on inside my head, and my heart. Anti-depressants, anxiety medication, and Benadryl were a normal part of my daily life. I couldn’t function without them – mostly b/c without them I was covered in hives from head-to-toe, but also b/c of the depression that was consuming me. If you’ve never experienced depression (and that means REAL depression – over time) you won’t have a clue what I’m talking about….for those that HAVE experienced it – God bless you for getting through it. If it weren’t for my husband and my kids and my bestest friends – I wouldn’t be here. If I didn’t take a nose-dive off the balcony, I would have stayed in bed forever. Thank GOD I found reasons every day to get up and do what I had to do.
After visiting with a pastor from my NEW church, I realized that God was telling me to leave that job, and HE WOULD PROVIDE. I made the decision on Wednesday to quit. I wasn’t in the office Thursday, and HE wasn’t in the office Friday – so I planned to quit the following Tuesday when we had our ‘staff meeting’. God told me to call the committee – I was still too scared to do it. SO – God forced my hand!
I’m not about to bad-mouth or trash talk any of the people I knew in my ‘former life’. That’s not what this is about – but I do want to say a few things about why I am where I am, and where I’m going. I worked a job for almost 4 years. NO ONE had complained about the job I was doing. It started with little ‘differences’ in the former boss and new boss. All complaints about ME – personally. My habits, my dress, my lifestyle, etc. NOTHING was ever said about my job performance. EXCEPT that I needed to find more work to do….
After four years – to the day, I might add – the committee comes into my office that Friday and says that ‘it’s not working out with you. We’ve met with the pastor, and you haven’t changed, so you’re out” They demanded my keys, told me to get my stuff and that they would mail my last check so you ‘don’t need to bother coming back’. If this were ANY other job in the world – a job where I could steal files, or clients, or insider information – I would understand. BUT – this was my CHURCH. These people were my FAMILY. In fact, one was my Deacon Family’s wife…..strange. To be so degraded, humiliated, and insulted…..by people claiming to be doing ‘God’s Will”. God would NEVER have treated me that way. NEVER.
In hindsight – this is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me. I found out who really cares about us – and let me say – it’s not anyone at that place – with the exception of the Chairman of the Deacons. He was the ONLY one that has called me since my departure….and he was livid that they treated me that way. His words were, “If we as a Deacon body would have known about this, we would have insisted on you staying – you’re the best we’ve ever had”. With that exception, I know that I can leave this place of ‘worship’ with a clear conscience.
Since leaving this job, I have found the opportunity to go back to school! My ‘other job’ ended b/c of budget cuts, so I qualify for the ‘displaced workers program’ through Ozark Action. They will help with school costs, mileage, and babysitting expenses. I also qualified for a Pell Grant and loans if I need them. I may also be getting *some* unemployment, so that will help. I’ll start substituting in the fall. I may try to find some other part-time work, but I really want to concentrate on my studies – I’ll be taking full loads each semester, and they don’t look easy! I’m going to be getting my BS in Human Services. I’ll be able to work in the substance abuse field, or domestic violence, or social work. This was my original goal when I went to college right out of high school!
I should also mention that our family has started attending services at Westside, and we have felt SO welcome, so loved, so WANTED. AND – I actually know what it’s like to attend a service where the Holy Spirit is EVERYWHERE. My kids LOVE their classes and Kent even likes it! WOOHOO!!! I have never felt more secure, and positive about my life than I do right now, this minute.
Will I still have issues with depression? Of course. Will I let it get me to the point it has this last year??? NEVER again. Have I even needed a xanax since my departure? NO WAY!!! That’s the best part! I have struggled with doing this blog for a long time, and I realized that I have nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t do anything WRONG. The sinner in me wants to throw out insults and tell you things that were said and done, but what good will that do?
I also want to say thanks to my friends and family that HAVE stuck by me, supported me, were my ‘shoulders’ this last year. Most of you don’t know how low I was, but you knew I wasn’t ‘right’. Thanks for not giving up on me.
Now go back up and read my year’s horoscope. Fitting, eh?
For Krysteena….
And if you were wondering - yes. Rogan got a new 'Cars' toy afterwards. Made his day.
